I've officially survived my Saturn Return 🪐

(❁´◡`❁) I don't usually delve into personal stuff on this blog - which is a bit odd, since it's a blog, after all - but I thought this was worth sharing. In astrology, the Saturn Return refers to the transitional period when Saturn returns to the same position it was in when you were born. Saturn is a planet that offers up challenges and lessons, and reminds you of the weight of your choices and responsibilities. If you made poor choices earlier in life, your Saturn Return can be a harsh lesson in consequences - fuck around and find out, basically. I definitely fucked around and found out, but I'm much better for it in the end.

(As an aside, I don't really believe in astrology, but I love to study it because I really like learning about convoluted systems and rules.)

During this time period I learned so much about myself and it put a lot of my past experiences into context. I learned that I am neurodivergent and that informs a lot of the behaviours and personality traits that make me offputting to others. Not sure how I didn't figure that out sooner, to be quite honest. I mean I have the bog standard, garden variety anxiety disorder (and depression, which has thankfully long since been dealt with) that pretty much every other millennial has at this point, but knowing that my brain is literally wired differently from everyone else's just kinda tracks.

I also learned a couple of other things during this process, like it's okay to have and to enforce personal boundaries. I am not obligated to make myself emotionally open and available to everyone on demand. It's not selfish to prioritize my own emotional and mental health over other people. And perhaps mostly importantly, I now know that I don't need to beat myself up for not perfectly meeting the standards that neurotypical/allistic people set for me. It's okay if my barometer for success looks different from other people's. I still have many things to work on, but I'm proud of myself for coming this far. Every year, I get stronger and wiser - and I think I look prettier the older I get, too. (´͈  ᵕ `͈ ）

Welp, that's pretty much all I have to say on that.

I bought some birthday treats for myself! A hardcover edition of Ghost in the Shell 1.5: Human-Error Processor and 3 copies of CYBR Magazine. I've been reading a lot more print media these days...trying to avoid doomscrolling. Granted, I'm not sure that reading about cyberpunk dystopias is any better, haha. I'm also reading through Neuromancer for the first time since high school and just...wow, a lot of it was lost on me as a kid.

I got another tattoo too! I've been wanting a Vampire: the Masquerade tattoo since like...middle school (Tremere for life, yo!). It was probably the only tattoo idea I came up with from middle school that I'm willing to even consider as an adult, haha. I like the idea of subtler nerd tattoos. People who like VtM will recognize the ankh, but people who don't know about VtM will still just see an ankh.

It's still fresh in this photo so it looks kind of gross and scabby, but it looks marginally better now.

Lastly, some coord photos! I find that as time passes I care less and less about having flawless, unique coords...I just want to be comfortable and put-together. I'm not sure if I'm getting bored or if I'm just comfortably settling into my style now that I'm happy with my collection. I just don't feel the need to put in huge amounts of effort every single time, you know?

The only thing that makes this difficult is my new hair. It's so short that it's impossible to do the updos or braids that I used to wear, and it's too big to work with rectangle headdresses unless I put it up. I have to figure out a good compromise that doesn't involve wearing a wig because again...effort, haha.

Dress: Moi-même-Moitié Velour Lace OP
Headdress: Moi-même-Moitié Rolled Rose Headdress
Socks: Moi-même-Moitié Ribbon Cross OTKs
Accessories: Moi-même-Moitié
Shoes: Yosuke

That's pretty much it for now. I'm still working on converting my old video scripts (and a few unfinished/unpublished videos) into blog entries but I hope to have some interesting ones posted soon. Cheers and thanks for reading!

[Current Music: Massive Attack, Tricky, & 3D - Take It There]

Dress Mail!

Hello bats! Check out the goodies that arrived recently! The Moitié Velour Lace OP is a trade from a friend. I gave her one of my re-release Iron Gate OPs - I'd bought all 3 colourways and didn't really need them all, so she gave me this dress and some cash in exchange. I also received the Haenuli x Mossbadger kickstarter dress! I'm so happy with it. The dress is made out of a nice heavy material and it has a pocket!! The last dress I received is the Vampire Prelude JSK in ivory which I've been trying to get ahold of for years. I used to have the black JSK and skirt and sold them - not sure what was going through my mind, but I've regretted it ever since. I'm so happy to have this print back in my collection.

Moi-même-Moitié Velour Lace OP, Haenuli x Mossbadger Mystic Wandering Spirit JSK, and Alice and the Pirates Vampire Prelude JSK

My friend hosted a small get-together a few weekends ago so I decided to wear a casual witchy outfit with my Mystic Wandering Spirit JSK and comfy Sheglit cutsew. The JSK holds a nice shape even without a petticoat. It's definitely one of the most flattering dresses I own! The bodice length is perfect for me, and the shape makes my waist look tiny while hiding my complete and utter lack of hips. Haha ( ´ ▿ ` ;)  I also bought this Rick Owens jacket a few months ago but I haven't really had much opportunity to wear it until now due to the weather. I thought it looked cute with the leather Fluevog boots I wore with the dress. Wish I got a full body photo...

 

 

Also, I guess you can't really tell in the photo, but I've cut my hair suuuper short and let all of the blue-black dye wash out! I haven't had hair this short since a botched haircut I had in grade 9 that left me in tears, so I was a little bit apprehensive about it at first, but I needed to chop off all of the fried ends. It looks much cuter now! The only downside is that it's too short to look good when I put it up, but being able to wear it down more often is a good tradeoff.

 

Lastly, I want to share my latest manicure! It's a multichrome cat-eye polish with clouds and stars. Each nail is a different colour, and depending on the light they flash sparkly green, blue, purple, and gold. I fiddle with my hands quite a bit, so having sparkly pretty nails makes it a much more pleasant experience (*´▽`*)

[Current Music: Faith and the Muse -  Failure to Thrive]

Ladurée Brunch & Goodies!

I went with a friend to Laduree for brunch and shopping last weekend instead of studying, because I really, really need a break. I work full-time, am a full-time student, and I'm also covering for my lab manager...been feeling very overwhelmed and overtaxed (´;︵;`) I tend to retreat to comfortable, familiar things when I'm stressed, so I've been playing a lot of Neopets and eating my favourite comfort foods. I haven't gone to Ladurée for a very long time obviously, but I used to go quite regularly. I ordered my old favourites, the Ladurée Omelette and Eugénie mocktail.

Eugénie mocktail (´･ω･`)!

Anyway, I'm finally wearing my Lief St. Esther dress! It feels appropriate for Halloween, but really I just chose it because it's comfortable and doesn't irritate my new back tattoo. I borrowed the nurse cap, armband, and waist ties from my AatP Roses Cross Emblem set to add some gold into the coordinate. I chose my rocking horse shoes because they have gold soles, and also because it was rainy and I haven't finished waterproofing all my leather shoes yet.

Dress: Lief St. Esther Apron OP 

Cap: Alice and the Pirates Roses Cross Emblem Nurse Cap 

Socks: Violet Fane Asylum Tights 

Accessories: Alice and the Pirates, Violet Fane, Moi-même-Moitié 

Shoes: Vivienne Westwood x Melissa Rocking Horse Shoes

It just occurred to me that I haven't worn any of my Moitié main pieces in a while. I still care about the brand very much, but with the current state of the secondhand market and the direction the brand is currently taking...I dunno. I have most of my dream pieces already, and I'm just more interested in wearing and buying other brands right now. I have a few Moitié pieces I'll be offloading soon, too. I need to clean up my closet for my wardrobe post! 

[Current Music: Siouxsie and the Banshees - Party's Fall]

Happy October!! 🎃

Hello bats! I'm sharing a coordinate from a few weeks ago, since this is the last time I ended up wearing this dress. I haven't been able to wear lolita recently anyway since I just got a big tattoo on my back, so I'm stuck wearing loose cotton tops only until it heals (´;︵;`) Once it looks a bit less angry, I'll post some pictures.

Katrina OP is one of my favourite designs, but I think I've exhausted everything I want to do with it for now. Katrina is such a gorgeous dress and I'm really happy that I had the chance to own and wear it. It's comfortable and easy to coordinate so I ended up wearing it really frequently...but it's hard for me to work with because I like to layer and wear corsets or jackets. The shape of this dress doesn't mesh well with the layering pieces that I own, and it's too heavy to wear year-round. I've gotten lots of pretty coordinates out of this piece, so I think it's time to let it go for someone else to enjoy. 

Dress: Angelic Pretty Katrina OP

Bonnet: Kuroneko Majo Atelier Vampire Rose Bonnet
Socks: Estrellas Oath Garden OTKs

Accessories: Néant Glass, Luna Borgia

Shoes: Na+H Strap Shoes

 

I always wear lolita a lot in October - early autumn provides the ideal lolita weather. It's not rainy or cold, and it's not hot either. Plus, the leaves and Halloween decor make for pretty backdrops! It feels weird not wearing lolita at all, but hopefully I can dress up before the month is over. In the meantime, I have lots of time to do some closet cleaning. In addition to selling pieces I'm not using, I've also been doing some closet maintenance. I have so many old shoes that need repainting and minor repairs, like these two. The straps are broken and the soles are peeling off, so they need some TLC. I bought both of these pairs of shoes back in 2014, and they're showing their age. 

 

 

Actually...I'm pretty sure I wore the pair on the left for my first full coordinate ever! I did buy a few lolita pieces well before 2014, but I just incorporated them into regular casual outfits because I was way too chicken to wear a full coordinate in public. Does anyone else remember getting outfit inspiration from the Daily Alamode LiveJournal community? (´͈  ᵕ `͈ ）Such good memories!

Even though I'm trying to clear space in my closet and throw away unsalvageable stuff, I ended up getting lucky on Lace Market! I adore the Alice and the Pirates vampire series and have owned lots of them over the years. I just sold my Vampire Requiem Long JSK, and I sold my Vampire Forest JSK a long time ago - the prints are gorgeous, but the cuts just don't suit me. I'd prefer to have them as skirts. But the pieces I always regretted selling was my Vampire Prelude skirt and JSK in black. I have no idea what possessed me to sell them, but I did. Anyway, the ivory JSK popped up a few days ago and I immediately bought it. A few of my friends own this dress, and I can't wait to twin with them!

Lastly, to get into the Halloween spirit, so I treated myself to another nail set at a different salon. They're much shorter and easier to manage now! I loved the dramatic long coffin shape I had before because it made me feel kind of like an Instagram baddie, but I work with my hands and they were just constantly getting in the way. The short almond shape is still cute but much more practical. The nail technician also did a very good job repairing the damage done at the salon I went to at the beginning of September - I had to go back two weeks after that first nail set for maintenance and they rushed the job. The nail art was a bit messy which is forgivable, but they also burned the hell out of my nailbeds with the curing lamp and gouged deep into my natural nails. Have to wait for the damage to grow out now...

 

That's it for now! I hope you're all having a wonderful start to the spooky season!! ( ´ ▽ ` )

 

[Current Music: Музыка для грузовых лифтов - Любовь]

BIPOC Vamp Day 2021 🦇🩸

Hi bats! Today I'm sharing my outfit for BIPOC Vamp Day 2021. The event is in the same vein (ha) as Black Fae Day, which was an online event encouraging black people to dress up as fae and mythical creatures and share their looks on social media. I like vampires (and vampire hunters, of course!) a lot more than I like faeries, so I was pretty excited about this event! 

I adored the Blade, Underworld, and Ultraviolet movies growing up, as well as Buffy and Forever Knight. I read almost all of the Anne Rice vampire novels, too. Like all budding weebs, I loved Hellsing, Vampire Hunter D, and Trinity Blood. I played through Vampire the Masquerade: Bloodlines a million times. I had a ridiculously long vampire dynasty running in The Sims 2 for years. So yeah, I was definitely into vampires...yet somehow I never had any interest in Twilight even though I was the target demographic - angsty millennial teen girl. Didn't want any romance to get in the way of all the leather pants and brooding and ultraviolence, I guess. 

To this day, I want to get permanent fangs installed so that I can look like Selene from Underworld.

One of my screennames comes from a silly Vampire: The Masquerade forum roleplay character I made up when I was around 12. I was starting to get interested in tabletop gaming at the time and I stumbled onto World of Darkness lore books on some random goth's Geocities homepage. I only did some forum RPs because of course I was way too young to play in-person. Being a tween, I just wanted to be a quirky-yet-insanely-powerful gothic vampire wizard, so of course I made my character an obscenely wealthy mad scientist Tremere. She was supposed to be a sort of silly, over the top, comedic character. In retrospect she was kind of an uninspired mashup of existing characters, but she evolved over the years into a much better character. I still have all of my old character sheets and illustrations! (´･ᴗ･ ` )

I decided to do a cute layered coordinate with lots of sheer pieces and different textures. I really like the look of the tulle skirt peeking out underneath the ruffled skirt, and I chose a mesh/tulle headdress to mimic the look of the the tulle skirt. I kept the layered ruffle theme going with the layered collar, the wristcuffs over the sleeves, and of course the frill along the corset.

Am I a vampire, or a vampire hunter trying to blend in? You be the judge...

Skirts: Sheglit Asymmetric Frill Skirt layered over Sheglit Foliage Skirt

Blouse: Moi-même-Moitié Cross Arch Flare Sleeve Cutsew

Corset: Na+H Halter Frill Corset

Headdress: Moi-même-Moitié x Krad Lanrete Nocturnal Romance Headdress

Choker: Moi-même-Moitié Coffin Lace Choker
Tights: Moi-même-Moitié Iron Gate OTKs

Jewellery: Trickery, Etah Love, Néant Glass, Restyle

Shoes: Na+H Strap Shoes

I'm looking forward to seeing what other vamps are wearing today!

[Current Music: Snake River Conspiracy - Vulcan]

Picnic Coordinate 🦋

One of my comm members hosted a catered picnic meetup in the park recently! The forecast looked pretty bad, but the weather ended up being perfectly cool and breezy. We were getting swarmed by wasps, though. Generally I'm not too fussed by bugs but I'm somewhat allergic to wasps, so I spent a goodly amount of time trying to swat them away from my food and out of my hair. Bugs aside, it was a pleasant meetup! It was really nice to see the comm again, especially since there were some new faces, but I honestly wasn't feeling very social. I think working in a patient-facing job is finally starting to wear my social batteries down - not that I was a social butterfly to begin with...

Anyway, speaking of butterflies, I did a summery butterfly-themed coord with my Royal Princess Alice Gothic Butterfly OP! I figured this might be my last chance to wear it out before it gets too cold.

Me and my best friend (❁´◡`❁) Photo by Firemate

Photo by Firemate

 

OP: Royal Princess Alice Gothic Butterfly OP

Cage Skirt: Écailles de Lune Shadow Garden

Headdress: Moi-même-Moitié x Krad Lanrete Nocturnal Romance Headdress

Choker:  Moi-même-Moitié Coffin Lace Choker
Tights:  Royal Princess Alice Gothic Butterfly Tights

Jewellery: Modifica, Restyle, Etah Love, Moi-même-Moitié

Bag: Moi-même-Moitié Blue Cross Bat Handbag

Shoes: Yosuke

[Current Music: Principe Valiente - Strangers in the Night]

New manicure!

A little while ago I did a really cool futuristic-looking manicure on my natural nails. I used silver chrome powder on one side and painted the undersides neon green. I cracked two at work that week and repaired them with gel, but they were looking pretty rough. I grow my nails super long so breaking even one is traumatizing. Anyway, the other day I was walking downhill on uneven pavement, wearing my rocking horse shoes...and predictably I tripped and went down like a clumsy sack of potatoes. I was wearing a skirt, so I skinned both of my knees pretty badly. I also skinned my hand and knuckles, and somehow smacked myself in the face as I was going down...? I'm not sure how, but I have a big scratch on my face too (´･ω･`)?bThankfully, the rocking horse shoes were unharmed! Not a single scuff.
 

Since I broke my nails when I fell, and because I'm going to a wedding soon, I treated myself to gel nails! I had to keep my colours neutral to match with the wedding theme since I'm going to be a bridesmaid, but I still wanted to be a little extra. The thumb is about the length that my natural nails were (I need them to be short for work) but I went really long on the other fingers. Haven't had my nails this long since uni...I'm going to have to relearn how to type, haha. On my way out of the salon, I realized that a new bakery had opened across the street! I bought Hokkaido cream cheese cakes for me and my mom, and also treated myself to the first bubble tea I'd had in about a year. I always get taro milk tea with tapioca and 1/3 sugar (⭒•͈ 𓎺 •͈ )

My hand is still scraped up haha (´͈  ᵕ `͈ ）

Anyway, in my last post, I mentioned I was going to buy a cassette Walkman from Mercari, but now I'm thinking of getting a Discman or a cute CD player too! I used to have so many CDs lying around, but I don't know what happened to my collection. Most of it was regular stuff you could buy at HMV but I had some visual kei and jpop stuff, too. And of course tons of mix CDs that I burned myself. I remember having a bunch of (probably bootleg) Ayumi Hamasaki CDs in the early 2000s. I loved all of the remix CDs because I was really into techno and trance, but I liked the regular versions too. I watched the video for Rainbow so many times...the outfits, nails, and makeup were so pretty! It's still my favourite Ayu song.

 

The cover art for the Rainbow album is so pretty, too. I love that blue colour and glass/plastic look that was everywhere in early-2000s album cover art haha. The interlude track "Neverending Dream" on this album really brings me back in time...it really sounds like something from Phantasy Star Online, right? It reminds me of chilling in the PSO game lobby with my internet friends in 2005 (❁´◡`❁) so many good memories!

Back to the CD player...I went looking around for nostalgia's sake and I found the cutest little mini hi-fi setup! Panasonic SA-PM50MD. The glass front panel is motorized so that when you press the CD button, it glides up to reveal the CD tray. It looks pretty slick for a late-90s hi-fi - I love the silver/orange/green colour scheme. It comes in an all-white version, but the orange is really charming. The buttons are all backlit, too. It's a little bit expensive, even though it's an older machine, so I'm not sure if I'm going to pull the trigger just yet, but...soon. I need a new record player first. I would love to find a record player that's as cute as this hi-fi!

[Current Music: Drab Majesty - Dot in the Sky]

Goodbye Coordinate: Moi-même-Moitié Chandelier JSK

I decided to wear my white Moi-même-Moitié Chandelier JSK before I listed it for sale, but there's a story behind this dress! I bought it from Closet Child many years ago when a friend sent the listing to me. The listing stated that it was lightly stained and the price reflected that, but the photos didn't look too bad, so I went for it. I think it was my first white (well, ivory) Moitié piece and I was just very excited to try shiro lolita for the first time so I didn't care if it was stained - cheap Moitié! You can probably see where this is going...

The dress arrived with some interesting stains. There were rusty orange discolourations on the inner lining of the bodice and armpits - maybe the first wearer had worn it without a blouse and it was just oxidized body lotion or deodorant or something...? But the really spooky stains were the brownish-red spray and splatters down the front of the bodice and skirt, and on the back too. It was even in the lining. Initially I thought it was just some kind of sauce, but after looking more closely at the stains I'm 99% certain it was blood. Σ(°△°|||)︴I tossed it in the washing machine with some sanitizer and predictably the bloodstains didn't really come out, so it just became the mysteriously cursed dress that I only wore on Halloween. It only seemed fitting.

 

Halloween party coordinate from...I can't even remember what year this was...

Anyway, I hadn't thought about this dress in a long time, and I was doing a big wardrobe purge a little while back. I'm not a fan of ivory and I don't have much that matches with it. On top of that, the dress doesn't fit me very well in the bust and tends to just slip down over the course of the day. I don't have that problem with some of Moitié's other bustier-style dresses, but something about the shape of this one just doesn't work on my body shape. It's a beautiful piece, but it's not right for me. So it had to go.

 

I decided to give cleaning another go. My mom swears by this weird all-purpose cleaner for removing stains - it's neon yellow, and it looks and smells radioactive. I figured the dress wasn't worth much in its current condition so I had nothing to lose if the cleaner melted the fabric or something. To my surprise, it cleaned the stains extremely well! After two rounds of spot treating and some more washes, it was pretty much good as new.

 

JSK: Moi-même-Moitié Chandelier JSK

Blouse: Moi-même-Moitié Rose Flare Sleeve Cutsew

Belt: Moi-même-Moitié Candelabra Lace Obi Belt

Headdress: Moi-même-Moitié Rose Cross Lace Head Bow

Choker:  Moi-même-Moitié Dot Tulle Choker

Necklace: Moi-même-Moitié Candelabra Pearl Necklace

Bag: La Luice Lace Rabbit Pochette

Socks:  Moi-même-Moitié Thorny OTKs

Shoes: Metamorphose Heel Strap Platform Shoes

This dress really is pretty, but you can see that the bodice doesn't fit me lol. It's a little too long and the bust is too big. I still really like it but...yeah. I'm sure someone else can do it justice!

This is also my first time wearing this headdress (Moi-même-Moitié's Rose Cross Lace Head Bow). I paid way too much for it because I got into a bidding war, but I've literally been looking for this specific colourway for several years, and I never got my hands on it, so I didn't mind splurging a little. Isn't it pretty? It has cute picot ribbons and a rhinestone cross decoration. The size is perfect, too. Moitié headdresses are so good. I've sold a lot of mine because I'm running out of space and I don't really need that many frilly rose headdresses...but they're just so cute ( ´ ∀ `)ノ～ ♡

Oh, and of course I had to make a silly edit picture!

[Current Music: MDFMK - Witch Hunt]

A very disappointing thrift adventure

I've always loved thrift stores. When I was a little kid, my dad would take me to all the local thrift stores and electronics shops to help him hunt for useful electronics and salvage (he loves to tinker). I'd always get a new book or computer software out of the deal, and I thought it was great fun to dig through the piles of junk looking for something my dad could use or repair. I have vivid memories of him taking apart old CRTs on the dining room table. 

 

I'm mostly interested in 1990s and early 2000s devices and hardware. It's partially nostalgia, but also because I genuinely enjoy it. I love the design aesthetics of that time period, and just the sheer variety of weird niche products that arose from companies trying to cash in on the tech boom. And thrift stores usually have a ton of that kind of stuff! ( ´ ▿ ` )

I've always been a fan of having a dedicated media device separate from my phone, and 2000s era players are my favourite. I used an mp3 player (a Cowon S9) until maybe about 2 or 3 years ago. Before that, I used an iPod mini that my parents bought for me as a graduation present when it came out in 2005. I'd still be using it but the internal drive crapped out, but man, that thing was built to last. The aluminum casing was stupidly bulky, but I dropped it so many times while skateboarding or running (once it even got clipped by a car) and it was still perfectly fine. I used it from middle school until undergrad! In the same time period I went through like...3 or 4 different CD players.

Speaking of analog media, I would love to find a little cassette player like like the Panasonic RQ CW-02 or RQ CW-05..the translucent jelly look is so happy and cute. I really want the green or orange colourway. The Sony WM-EQ3 "Bean" is cool too- it glows in the dark! Those would have all been pipe dreams once upon a time since all of these models are ancient and weren't widely available outside of Asia...but that's what Mercari is for! They're cheap, too. Man, I love the internet.

 

 

Anyway, back to thrifting...I've been watching a ton of tech thrifting and restoration videos lately so I thought it might be fun to hit some thrift stores I'd never visited and see if I could find some treasures. Long story short, it was stupidly crowded and half the people in the store weren't wearing masks and it was just...grimy. It was just too hot and loud and claustrophobic and all of the good stuff had been picked over. Crowds is too overstimulating for me. I went to two large thrift shops and had the same crappy experience both times, so I went home and cheered myself up with an iced pumpkin spice latte instead. σ(*´∀｀*) I don't want to know how much I spend on Starbucks each week, haha...

 

I did find a cute vintage sewing machine though! It's a tiny little Morse Zigzag in a leather carrying case. No idea what the exact model is, but my guess is that it's from the late 70s or early 80s, purely based on the brown/harvest gold/orange colour scheme. I didn't buy it, but I think it would make an interesting addition to someone's collection. It's so tiny and adorable!

 

Oh, and I did end up buying a mini tripod...only I didn't realize quite how mini it was! It's so small that it can't hold up the weight of my phone without tipping over, so I have to position it very low to the ground at an extreme angle. Basically, all my shots look like the Steve Madden shoe adverts from like 2003. I can model for Lamoda now, or something.

 

Overall, it was a disappointing thrift adventure, so I hope I have better luck next time. Maybe I'll stick to hunting on Mercari and eBay...

[Current Music: Eiffel 65 - I Dj With The Fire]

Hot Summer Tea Party ☀️

I went out for afternoon tea with my good friends today! We're all gothic lolitas, but we didn't actually plan on wearing Moitié main pieces...it just turned out that way. Same brain cell and all that.

POV: You're about to get stepped on by the Moitié hivemind

Wearing lolita in summer truly is suffering. I would have loved to dress up super fancy for tea, but the humid weather defeated my plans. I went to my old summer standby: my Moitié Juliet OP. Juliet OP is one of my best purchases ever! It's so comfortable on its own in summer, and looks cute layered on top of a blouse or cutsew in the cooler months. It's one of those pieces that I only bought because I saw it in person - the stock photos aren't that great.

Somehow I've never worn short socks with lolita, even though I've been wearing the fashion for years. I think it's cute, and it was definitely more comfortable than my usual OTKs, but I'm not sure if I totally like the look or not. I think it's something that I'll have to get used to. Even outside of lolita I don't usually wear clothing that shows my legs.

Ugh, I just realized my necklace was turned around! (⇀‸↼‶) It's got a red rose inside to match my rose headdress. I was wearing a red ring, too.

OP: Moi-même-Moitié Juliet OP
Headdress: Moi-même-Moitié Rose Cross Arch Headdress
Jewellery: Néant Glass, Moi-même-Moitié
Socks:  Alice and the Pirates See-Through Stripe Short Socks
Shoes: Yosuke

It was my first time dining indoors since the pandemic began, so I was initially a little bit nervous. But after I reminded myself that so many of my friends and coworkers have been going to restaurants and movie theatres with no ill effects, and that my city has a very high vaccination rate, I felt calmer. Even though I thankfully don't have to deal with covid patients in my line of work, being a healthcare worker during the pandemic has been nerve-wracking, especially because I live and work with immunocompromised people (and I have some chronic health conditions myself). I'm working hard on adjusting to the fact that the current situation is relatively low-risk, while still remaining cautious.

I had a tower of delicious sandwiches and tiny desserts, and an entire pot of vanilla chai tea. We also had some sparkling green tea to finish, which was super refreshing on a hot day like today. I've been meaning to try making sparkling tea at home. I hate sparkling water (why would anyone want spicy water?) but sparkling tea is awesome.

After our tea platters we continued our tradition of seeking out the nearest McDonald's for a round of chicken nuggets and fries. We weren't even that hungry, but it felt wrong just walking past without getting a snack for the road. We also took the usual circle of feet and hand star photos, because your lolita meet isn't complete without them. Don't @ me, I don't make the rules.

I haven't seen some of my friends in person since 2019, so it was wonderful hanging out with them in a more-or-less normal situation. We were still missing a few people, but this was still such a great turnout! I can't wait until we get to reunite with the American half of our little goth squad ( ´ ∀ `)ノ～ ♡

[Current Music: Perturbator - Birth of the New Model]

Cake and Shopping 🍰

It was a lot cooler today than it has been all week, so my friend and I took the opportunity to go out for sweets and a little bit of shopping! My friend wore a comfy coordinate with her Angelic Pretty Milkshake Circle Skirt and matching cutsew, and I wore my Moitié Frame Cross JSK. I should have worn a cutsew coordinate too...would have been much more comfortable. It was still a little warm, even with the breeze. I really need some more cotton tops for wearing lolita in the summer, but maybe I should hold off since autumn is around the corner.

We both had delicious mille crêpe cake with earl grey tea frosting, topped with lavender. For some reason the creperie wasn't serving drinks that day, so we got some cold drinks at a nearby Starbucks. This was my first time having a fancy desert since the pandemic began, so it was a really nice treat. I used to go to a cute patisserie with my boyfriend once a week. Having it delivered just isn't the same...

Afterwards, we walked around for a while and did a bit of shopping. I bought a cute sticker book! I have a huge collection of stickers. There are butterflies and flowers in every colour of the rainbow, as well as black and white! Can't wait to plaster them on everything, haha. There are apparently 1000+ stickers so it'll take some time to get through.

 We also took a few coord shots while we were out! I love the colourful backdrop of the graffiti. It was surprisingly quiet in the alley, when usually it's packed with tourists. The street was pretty busy, but I guess everyone was busy shopping rather than taking photos. Fine by me, since I hate cutting through there and being stopped every few moments by tourists wanting photos with the local colour.

JSK: Moi-même-Moitié Frame Cross JSK

Blouse: Metamorphose Egg Art Blouse

Headbow: Moi-même-Moitié Divine Cross Headbow

Nun Collar:  Moi-même-Moitié Nun Collar

Necklace: Luna Borgia

Socks:  Alice and the Pirates Lace Up Rose OTKs

Shoes: Yosuke

I really like how my coord shot came out! I haven't worn this dress in so long. I forgot how pretty and lightweight it is. Even though it's polyester, it's not too uncomfortable to wear in summer. I'm surprised that I don't see people wearing this piece more often!

[Current Music: Potochkine - Possédée]

Goodbye Coordinate: Rose Forest Lace OP

Whew, exams are over, so I can finally relax a little bit! Feels weird to just...not be studying.

I'm still in the process of closet cleaning, but I think I've cleared out most of the pieces that I'm tired of. I still have a few main pieces that I'm on the fence about, but I've sold off most of my unwanted blouses, purses, and accessories. I have a hard time letting go of items that I still really like, even if I'm not using them, so it was a bit difficult. It helped when I came up for pros/cons of keeping each individual item. I often didn't have any justifications for keeping an item other than "it's cute" and "it has sentimental value" so I'd recommend that method to anyone who is having trouble saying goodbye to pieces that they don't wear very much!

It's tough with Moi-même-Moitié in particular because older pieces are so coveted and so high in price that I know that if I change my mind on an item, I'll never get my hands on it for a reasonable price again. I collected most of my older, nicer pieces back when Moitié was at a low point. I remember balking if someone priced a choker or socks at over $25 because I knew I could get them for even cheaper. I should have bought more at the time, but I was also an intern on an intern salary. ┐(‘～`；)┌

Here's one of my goodbye coordinates with my Rose Forest Lace OP, which I bought from a friend who was unhappy with the fit. I really wanted to like this dress, but it just doesn't fit me well either. I don't fill out the top half and the waistline hits at a wider part of my torso, so it just looks baggy unless I'm wearing it with a corset or something to cinch the waist in. It sits a bit weirdly on my shoulders, too. That being said, it's super comfortable, even in this hot weather! 

Overall, I wouldn't recommend this dress to someone who is built like me with wide shoulders, a flat bust, and a shorter torso with a small waist. It'll just hang in weird places. You need a some curves to fill it out properly.

 

OP: Moi-même-Moitié Rose Forest Lace OP

Blouse: Moi-même-Moitié Holy Cross Collar Blouse

Corset: Sheglit Lace-Up Frill Corset

Blazer: Moi-même-Moitié Lace-Trimmed Jacket

Headdress: Moi-même-Moitié Coffin Lace Headdress

Choker:  Moi-même-Moitié Coffin Lace Choker

Necklace: Black Peace Now

Socks:  Moi-même-Moitié Lace Ribbon OTKs (2019)

Shoes: Antaina 

I can't justify keeping a pretty dress if it doesn't flatter me, even if I like everything else about it. But I ended up selling it to a local friend at the price I paid for it, so I'm very glad that it found a good home! Does anyone else have a hard time saying goodbye?

[Current Music: Vision Video - Inked in Red]

Window shopping, except I actually bought stuff

The weather has been spoiling some of my plans - the terrible air quality, humidity, crazy heat, and thunderstorms are all wreaking havoc on my allergies and asthma - but it's still been a pretty good time over here. I have lots of things to smile about. My exams are over, I secured a tattoo appointment, and I passed my second clinical evaluation!

My best friend took a job near me, so now we can hang out all the time. We've been getting together after work for dinner/drinks. We ate Mexican food last time!

I bought some new skate shoes, and I taught myself to ride switch on my longboard!

It feels so nice to just have a comfy, chill day to myself. I'm going to do some cleaning and laundry and put on Max Headroom and Aeon Flux in the background (all of the episodes are on Youtube now!) and then settle in with some nice skincare. Later tonight, I'm going to tune into an online synthwave/vaporwave/witchhouse event, Vaporgrave...all the good stuff! Super stoked! In the meantime, I'm just doing some online window shopping. I guess it's not really window shopping if I actually bought it...but then that disqualifies half of the things on this list. Oops.

A friend passed along a link to a pair of black Vivienne Westwood x Melissa Rocking Horse Shoes, which I bought immediately. I prefer the glossy look to the OG leather and wooden look for some reason. I sold my last pair because I mistakenly got a half size down and thought it would be okay. Normally this isn't too much of an issue for me since my feet are between sizes, but they must run small. My feet were bruised and numb after wearing them only once! The new ones are a half size up, so they should be comfy even with socks on. I'm so excited!

On the same topic of shoes, I also can't stop thinking about both of these shoes from Poison Shoes, a small Mexican shoe company that specializes in winklepickers and other trad goth footwear. The platforms are the Kasumi model and the flats are the Lilith model. I've worn a hole through my one pair of flats and the insoles have collapsed..my knees are also giving up after 15+ years of wearing heels every day, haha. They are pretty inexpensive, so I might pick up both pairs...but now that the RHS are in the mail, maybe I don't need the Kasumis. But they do come in red...⸜( ˙˘˙)⸝

I have too many damn shoes.

There's also a new Monster High collectible set coming out this week. I don't really have much space on my doll shelf anymore, but I really love Beetlejuice, so I'm going to try to snag them in the inevitable bloodbath. I'm really in it for Lydia - she's just so cute! It's so nice to see a doll with plain brown eyes, too. On the other hand, the Beetlejuice design is a little bit disappointing. I think they could have gone way crazier with the outfit and accessories..it just seems a little bland. The mismatched sandworm shoes are great, though. Maybe I'll change my mind when I see the dolls in person, but I'm likely going to sell Beetlejuice and keep Lydia.

I'm also very interested in this new Na+H dress. I love drapey, loose pieces like this, and the big collar is so cool and ninja-like! I've been wearing my natural hair up under a 30" Ariana Grande ponytail that I've bought several times since the pandemic began. During the height of the pandemic when I was still wearing scrubs every day, I didn't want my hair to be exposed but I still wanted to look a little cute. I think that hairstyle, or my favourite bob wig, would look really cute with the high collar. Or maybe double buns/puffs.

I like how they paired it with the Na+H pumps, which I do own and adore, but they obviously aren't great for daily wear. I wonder how it would look with my Frye Gia boots...too frumpy or would it look cool? I dunno, but I think I'm gonna pull the trigger and buy it.

Some other stuff: I've been listening to the new-ish Cyber Crimes EP from VR SEX on repeat lately. I'm a big fan of the band and their whole concept. A lot of their material focuses specifically on the pitfalls of modern life and technology, so it's a nice departure from the more traditionally goth subjects.

From the description:

"No one is exempt from the world wide web of destruction. A once-innocent digital playground has turned into a panopticon for pedophiles and predators - waiting, watching, baiting, and stalking. 2020 proved to be the tipping point in exposing these bloodsuckers within the world of music and art. Devoid of satire and sarcasm, Cyber Crimes stands alongside the victimized and attempts to serve as a sobering scene report for the current state of affairs."

The subject matter is pretty dark, but the EP is surprisingly upbeat-sounding and dancy. I love the contrast between dark lyrics and bouncy (well, bouncy by goth standards) music. I also really do appreciate that they chose to speak out about this topic. Unfortunately, myself and many others in my local goth community have had far, far too many run-ins with these kinds of predators, and seeing them get off scot-free by virtue of "but they're a DJ!!" or "but they host major events!!" is infuriating. It feels so validating to see this kind of bullshit called out, loud and clear.

Anyway, I'm mad because I didn't even know that it was released months ago on colourful vinyl (my weakness!!) so of course it's all been sold out by now. If you guys see the neon green record for sale, please let me know. I'll pay good money for it! In the meantime, I'm going to get the long-sleeve shirt because I still want to support them. I really love the print - definitely been feeling a little more into the futuristic/cyberpunk looks lately rather than trad goth.

I'm gonna need a second job if I keep this up...(*´∀｀*)

[Current Music: Then Comes Silence - Dark End]

2022 Cosplans!

As usual, it's been a busy month...I'm actually about to write an exam, and in the interest of trying to calm myself down I'm gonna write about my cosplay plans instead.

I haven't cosplayed since...I don't know, 2009ish? I had no money and no skills, and I was really into Team Fortress 2 at the time, so I put together some very simple cosplays of Scout and Soldier (thank you, Army Surplus store!). I wanted to do a female Medic cosplay, but I never finished it. And then I went off to university and my cosplay plans dried up, haha. I'm super excited to pick it up again! I'm not comfortable going to a convention just yet, but I figure things should settle down enough by next year. And that gives me lots of time to assemble my costume without having to deal with con crush.

I've settled on cosplaying my favourite video game protagonist from my favourite video game franchise, Commander Shepard Mass Effect! I'm going to base it off of one of the rejected designs for Mass Effect 3's Shepard. I love the mid-2000s edgy emo-Karen hybrid haircut and the dark makeup. I'm not sure if the bright red streak in her hair is just a reflection or if it's supposed to be an actual dyed streak, but I might just add it in because it's cute. Plus I already wear hazel contact lenses anyway, so that's one less thing to buy.

Overall, I picked this design because she looks cool, but also I would look pretty goofy with the official canon red hair, green eyes, and freckles. I also like the look of the classic black N7 Armour more than any of the other armour sets,  and it's so iconic and recognizable. Iconic to the point of  being overdone? Yes. Totally badass-looking? Also yes.

The most difficult part of the cosplay is going to be the bodysuit. It's supposed to be a heavy carbon fibre material, and I've found a few fabrics that would work well, but I'm not very good at sewing. I might just buy a bodysuit with a similar print, or a black PVC bodysuit (ugh, sweaty) since 90% of it will be covered up anyway. But the accuracy...I'm so torn on what to do haha. I'll guess I'll worry about that after I build the armour.

As for props, I decided on building a Black Widow sniper rifle. The Black Widow is also such a good, simple design that's straightforward to build. I love the futuristic look of the iconic Viper and Mantis rifles, as well as the Locust, but they're going to be a pain in the ass to build with all the curves and tiny little details. The Black Widow also looks huge and pretty impressive, so yeah. Laziness prevails.

I hope that with the release of the Legendary Edition we'll see a lot more Mass Effect cosplays again. A decade ago, you could throw a rock in a convention hall and be guaranteed to hit at least one Shepard cosplayer. It tapered off as the years went by, but I've seen tons of new players joining the fandom, as well as lots of old players returning. I would love to do a silly Into The Shepardverse photo if I can gather enough Shepards together!

Maybe I'll see you at a convention next year!

[Current Music: VR SEX - Rock N' Roll Death]