Happy World Goth Day 2021!

Hello bats...wishing you all a healthy, happy, and safe World Goth Day 2021! I always thought it was a little bit cruel that WGD is in May...every May 22nd, without fail, it's stupidly hot and humid out here. Spring and summer are especially hard on goths! I don't have air conditioning, so I'm melting even though I haven't left the house. According to the thermostat, it's 29°C in my bedroom, so the last thing I wanted to do was do my makeup and hair. Can't even open the window because of the pollen apocalypse outside. Sigh.

At least my pajamas are kinda festive? I'm in spiderweb-print leggings and a Beetlejuice shirt. And I looked cute at work the other day, too. I don't have a lot of summer clothes so I was kinda scrambling to find something wearable - it was 34°C that day! I bought a cute Kuromi insulated bottle so that I could carry cold drinks to work. Can't wait until Starbucks starts letting us use our own bottles and tumblers again!

Not too much has been happening these days, but I do have a piece of exciting news: I got my second dose of the vaccine on Wednesday! No side effects other than tiredness and a sore arm, just like the first dose. The doctor made sure to avoid my tattoo, which was very considerate. Not sure if vaccination can disrupt a healed tattoo at all, but I don't want to take any chances since the shops aren't open for touch-ups. As soon as they reopen, I'm going in to get some more work done. I have a few things in mind right now: I want a Patrick Nagel-styled portrait, a vampire castle, an ankh, and a butterfly.

I'm on a no-buy since I'm saving up for the tattoos, I need new work clothes...and I also want to buy a condo. Not to mention, I still have tuition to pay. My closet is stuffed to bursting, too. So I'm trying to limit my purchases to replacements of things that have worn out, or things that I absolutely need.

For instance, the tote bag I've been carrying every day for about 5 years has finally started to wear out, so I lucked out when I found a used Strawberry Switchblade tote bag on Mercari! Isn't it cute? It's a little faded, but otherwise in good condition. It arrived a few days ago, and I've been decorating it with pins and things. I've ordered a few band pins and patches to decorate the right side of the bag. I'm also going to add snaps along the top so that I can close the bag.

Speaking of recent purchases...the other thing I purchased recently is...a longboard! As a young kid I was obsessed with Tony Hawk, Thrasher, X-Games...I even used to skateboard little bit, but I was never really any good. I cruised (well, wobbled) clumsily around the neighbourhood and I couldn't even ollie. I sort of bought it on a whim. I've always hated commuting by public transit (too slow, too crowded), but it's gotten markedly worse since the pandemic started. I've seen so many people nodding off, shooting up, fighting, flashing, and worse on the subway and streetcar that I only take it if I absolutely need to. Plus, a lot of people still refuse to wear masks or keep their distance. I have to get off the streetcar/train and either walk or wait for the next one so often that I figured I might as well find a better way to commute. So I picked up the Rayne Future Killer 35"! It's a downhill/freeride board, so that should be good for riding my hilly commute.

I strapped on my helmet and pads and headed over to a nearby park with a big parking lot. There were tons of kids around, and I even saw a teen girl skateboarding around. I remember getting picked on as a kid for being tomboyish and liking skateboarding, and the boys were pretty mean and dismissive towards skater girls, so it's cool to see girls still taking it up. It's been fun so far! I'm not very good, so I've been trying to practice a little every day after work. I got a little too confident on day 3 and decided to hit the streets where I tried to take a tiny hill, tried to bail, and slammed my shoulder into the pavement. So back to taking baby steps at the parking lot, haha! At least the view is nice.

Anyway, that's it for my boring life update. Time to get back to video editing, since I did sort of plan on uploading a few things before ditching my channel for good. Thanks for reading, and see you soon!

[Current Music: Siouxsie and the Banshees - Slowdive]

Closet Cleaning ✨

My office is moving locations, so it's been a very busy couple of weeks for me! I spent the last couple of weeks hauling boxes around and cleaning the new office space. My allergies and asthma are teaming up to kick my ass since I've been huffing tree pollen and drywall dust for the past few days, and my hands are cracked and covered in scrapes. I'm really not cut out for physical labour.

It was my first weekend in a long time where I had both Saturday and Sunday off. Initially, I planned on lazing around the house and tuning in to the parts of the Gothicat Festival that I missed, but I ended up doing some closet cleaning instead. It feels cathartic to get rid of these pieces that I'm not using, even if I like them or think they're pretty. I'd rather that they go to a new home where they can be worn and appreciated. Most of the pieces went to friends, so I feel good sending them off. I cleared out a ton of blouses and dresses, and I'm still only halfway done.

Also, I like to make "goodbye" coordinates when I sell items that I like, so here's a few!

First, I sold my Holy Queen skirt, and twinned with myself! Holy Queen is a weird piece for me. I've had it in both the skirt and JSK in every single colourway, and I just...I dunno. I want to like it, but it never seems to work out for me. I always end up selling it. I really thought the skirt in this colourway was the final one, but I'm just not feeling it. The skirt cut is lovely and very flattering (the JSK looked awful on me), but I rarely find myself reaching for it. Time to go.

As a side note, how are we feeling about this blouse? I love this blouse under JSKs, but the way it clings and wrinkles up makes it look terrible with a skirt.

I also came to the conclusion that I don't look good in sweet, so I made the difficult decision to sell off most of my Baby, The Stars Shine Bright collection. I love these dresses and prints, but I don't love them on me, if that makes sense. I just feel a little bit awkward and silly in pieces like these...I don't really know how to be cute.

"Cute Meowing Friend" Alice and Her Black Cat JSK was one of my dream dresses when I was a wee baby lolita at heart, lurking on the EGL Livejournal community. I was (and still am) a huge fan of Alice in Wonderland, and Baby has the best Alice prints bar none. It's still one of my favourite Baby prints overall...I just don't feel like this style suits me at all.

Sleeping Alice is another favourite print of mine. To be honest, I'm still on the fence about this one...I really like the print, and I feel like I could coordinate it in a less cutesy way. Not sure about if I'm going to keep this cardigan, too. It's not aggressively sweet so I think it'll still fit in with the rest of my wardrobe. I'll probably hold onto both if them for a little while longer before I decide on it.

Back to wardrobe pruning for now...

[Current Music: Drab Majesty - Ellipsis]

Cherry Blossoms!

Today I went for my usual Sunday walk in the park, even though the weather wasn't so great. It was cold, cloudy, and extremely windy and by the time I got there I sort of regretting going out...until I realized that the cherry blossoms had bloomed! I guess I haven't really been paying much attention to the calendar these days, since every day feels exactly the same - go to work, go straight home, repeat ad nauseam. I didn't even realize that it was almost May...

I wore a very simple all-Moitié coordinate for my walk. I didn't bring my tripod or anything with me since I wasn't anticipating that I'd be taking photos, but I did get a few nice snaps of the flowers. It was a nice little mood booster!

I totally forgot I had this skirt until I found it at the back of my closet a few days ago. I haven't worn it in years!!

[Current Music: Acryl Madness - Become the Witness]

Lurker and Strange Perfumery Review

Hello bats! Today I'm going to be reviewing a recent purchase from Lurker and Strange Perfumery, a small business that sells hand-blended perfume oils made with natural, vegan-friendly ingredients. The scents are inspired by Wicca, witchcraft, mythological figures, and the like. The perfume oils are made in a historical concentration that isn't widely used anymore called esprit de parfum. This class of perfumes contains ~40% aromatic ingredients, so they last much longer and don't need to be applied in large amounts.

I had a really hard time picking which scents I wanted, so I had to pare down my original order of like 10 bottles to 4. I ended up choosing 1mL bottles of Brimstone, Ostara, Aura, and Dragon's Blood ($6.50 CDN each), and I also received a free sample of Brigid's Wisdom! Really good value for the money here.

Tiny little bottles!

The crystal decorations on each bottle are so cute!

I placed my order on April 3rd, and it was shipped out by lettermail on April 5th - very quick turnaround. The parcel arrived on my doorstep on the 14th. The shop is located in the same province as me, but the pandemic is seriously interfering with local delivery times. Anyways, let's have a look at what's inside the package...

Brimstone ("spiced cocoa, caramel, smokey vanilla") is a really interesting scent! It smells like fragrant smoke and spicy hot chocolate with a little caramel underneath. The vanilla notes is light but still noticeable, especially after the top notes of smoke fade away. It reminds me a little bit of Tom Ford Noir de Noir, which I'm also a huge fan of - and this is like 10 times cheaper! Brimstone is the perfect name for this fragrance. I think it's best suited for autumn or winter. It had great longevity through the day and faded to a nice, lightly spicy smoke scent with a little bit of dark chocolate.

Fun fact: Ostara is one of the Wiccan Sabbat holidays celebrated on March 21st at the Spring Equinox. The word Ostara comes from Ēostre, a Germanic pagan goddess of spring and dawn. The word "Easter" comes from Ēostre, too!

Ostara ("sweet rose buds, juicy apple, ripe melon, plumeria, raspberry") is a delicate, girly spring floral. It smelled very strongly of apple candy and sweet rose when first applied, with the apple settling down quickly to make way for the florals. There's a raspberry scent underlying it all, but I couldn't really detect the melon note at all. It's mature and feminine, but still very sweet. I quite like this scent, even though it's not what I'd usually go for in a perfume. It's a very elegant scent and I'm...not, so I'm going to give this one to my mom instead. The longevity on me wasn't as good, but the scent didn't change too much throughout the day either.

Aura ("lychee, rose, honey plum, white patchouli") is another feminine floral scent, this time fruity instead of floral. And it's soooo fruity! It smelled like straight up lychee when I first applied it. It quickly faded to reveal the rose and plum, and the patchouli started to come through within minutes. It ended up being a rather subtly fruity type of scent on me, and lasted a long time too! The pajamas I was wearing still smelled like it the next day. I can definitely see this becoming one of my everyday scents.

I also ordered their take on Dragon's Blood ("damask rose, cloves and spices, bourbon vanilla, black patchouli"), an iconic scent that every goth who lived through the 90s will instantly recognize. You know how they say that scent is the sense that is most strongly linked to memories? This scent immediately transported me back to the neighbourhood Wiccan shop I used to frequent as a teenager. It smelled of incense, dusty books, and patchouli with the sweetness of roses and just a little bit of vanilla underneath. So nostalgic and lovely! This perfume oil had the best staying power of all, even though the scent became softer and lost its incense notes by the end of the day.

They also included a free sample of Brigid's Wisdom ("candied strawberries, tart rhubarb, warm amber, sensual musk") which sounds like something I'd enjoy based on the description. I liked the scent in the bottle, but unfortunately, this one just didn't agree with my body chemistry at all for some reason! I got faint strawberry candy and rhubarb notes, but it smelled oddly plasticky on me. Still, I appreciate the thoughtfulness of the shop including a sample, especially because my order was so small.

I also received a discount code for my next order. I definitely plan on purchasing more since I'm incredibly pleased with what I've gotten so far - lovely scents and great service! The price point is If you like witchy scents, they have a wide variety of scents to choose from.

Thanks so much for reading!

[Current Music: Delphine Coma - Tension]

Sucker Punch is a Weird Film

Happy Easter, everyone! Can't wait for that chocolate to go on clearance tomorrow. Anyway, convoluted story ahead: 

I was listening to Lords of Acid and I found a music video for the movie Sucker Punch, which featured an instrumental version of their song Crablouse. As an aside, please don't look up anything related to Lords of Acid at work unless you want to get fired. Anyway, I remember when Sucker Punch was released back in 2011 and people kept recommending it to me because on paper it had all of the things I liked - spooky insane asylum theme, pretty girls kicking ass, Emilie Autumn steampunky/Victorian/whatever aesthetic, fantasy elements, lots of schlocky goodness - but I never actually watched it. The reviews were terrible, too, so I'm glad I didn't see it in theatres. I did get the soundtrack, though! It's awesome.

Instead of studying for my exams, I put the movie on while I cleaned my house. I'm not sure what to think of it, to be perfectly honest. It has an interesting premise, but the execution is...ehhh. 

 Visually, the movie is stunning, and as I said before, the soundtrack is great. Some of the effects look dated and uncanny in the same way that all CGI-heavy movies do, but the grungy vintage-inspired environments are imaginative and awesome. I really loved the dream-within-a-dream concept, the look of the rundown asylum, and all of the crazy scenarios they ended up in. Dragons? Samurai? Mechs? Steampunk robo-Nazis? This movie has it all! Except for a coherent plot, sensible dialogue and character development.

It's really obvious when a man is writing a supposedly "empowering" film featuring "strong female characters" (every time I see those words I want to scream) because the over the top "grrl power!!!" elements always come across as hollow. Yes, it's a female character being a badass, she's still being portrayed as a sex object, and the target audience is straight men, not us. It's so one-note. I'm not saying that strong female characters have to be ugly and frumpy in order to be valid...it's just that it takes more than being hot and violent to make a strong female character. The characters have no actual character, personality, or motivations outside of being hot and violent. None of the emotional or tense moments hit home because the characters are really just vehicles for cool fight sequences and battle lingerie. But nobody is watching this for the plot, right?

Aside from that, the overt sexualization of the patients and the weird brothel theme, knowing full well that real mental institutions were rife with cases of sexual abuse, just feels kinda off to me...especially considering that victims of sexual abuse would be institutionalized for showing any inconvenient symptoms of trauma. The movie doesn't ignore that fact, but brothel thing feels like it was played too straight. Was it trying to be some kind of commentary by being completely over the top? If there was an underlying message about the oversexualization and objectification of women, then I guess I missed it among the gratuitous panty shots.

I absolutely love the costuming (the bejewelled seifuku!!!) and character design choices in a vacuum, but the context makes it a little weird. I mean, I like girls, and I like watching pretty girls doing cool stuff.  I just feel like in Sucker Punch, it sort of missed the mark. It's enjoyable as long as you turn your brain off - there's absolutely no shame in wanting to see a fantasy action movie featuring hot girls parading around in silly outfits as long as there are no illusions that it's anything deeper than that.

I've always been fascinated with the history of medicine and psychiatry, especially psychiatric hospitals. I'm glad I was born when I was - my generation has a far better attitude towards mental health than my parents' did. As a member of the glitchy brain club, had I been born 50 years earlier, I very well may have ended up in a psychiatric facility.

I have a little collection of old medical illustrations and psychiatric medication ads. Everyone cracks up at the ones from the early 1900s that were basically just telling you to buy speedballs to put a little pep in your step, but I find that the mid-century ones are by far the most disturbing. The clean, minimalist  pastel graphical styles and illustrations juxtaposed with the cold, clinical, almost dehumanizing text was really jarring to me.

I'm particularly fond of these unsettling black-and-white ads from the 1960s and 1970s. They look like they could be horror movie posters.

They didn't even try to hide the fact that they believed that ADHD should be defined by how inconvenient you are to others.

Side effects may include hallucinations.

Not sure how I feel about psychiatric patients being depicted as enemy combatants...

 

So after all that, in keeping with the theme, I decided that I wanted to do a spooky nurse coordinate with my Violet Fane Asylum skirt.

Blouse: Atelier Pierrot

Apron: Lief

Skirt: Violet Fane

Hat: Gothlolicloset

Tights: Violet Fane

Bag: Vivienne Westwood

Shoes: Na+H

Accessories: Violet Fane, Lief, Victorian Maiden

 

I haven't worn lolita since...November, I think? It's the longest break from the fashion I've ever taken. Granted, it's less of a "break" and more a case of extenuating circumstances - it's not like I don't want to wear lolita anymore, I just really don't have many opportunities to. I'm getting my second dose of vaccine in July so hopefully I'll be able to go to (socially distanced and masked) meetups with vaccinated friends soon. I miss having a life!

 

I also wanted to share some selfies. Today's makeup look clocked in at 8 minutes, half because I want trying to see how fast I could do a passable blended eyeshadow look, and half because I was too lazy to keep going. Turns out it's sort of hard to speedrun your makeup, especially when you don't have contacts on.

 

Anyhow, that's it for now. Hang in there, everybody!

[Current Music: Depeche Mode - Behind the Wheel]

Back from the Dead

Wow, it's been a minute since I last posted, huh?

I was called back into work on June 1st after about 10 weeks off, so I didn't get much of a break. But I really enjoyed being able to wear lolita at home or just walking around the neighbourhood, even though everything was closed and I couldn't visit anyone. After returning to work I tried to keep wearing lolita and fun clothes regularly, but it just got too exhausting. After coming home I immediately strip off my scrubs and put all my work stuff in a separate area, shower, eat, and prep my things for the next day...by the time I finish it's usually around 8PM, and the absolute last thing I want to do after a long day is do my hair and makeup just for a video chat or an outfit shot. Plus, it starts getting too dark for evening photos here in like...September. It makes me so sad to see my closet gathering dust.

A couple of other things happened, too. I don't like to get overly personal here (which I suppose is a bit weird, considering that this is a personal blog) so here's the summary: I'm working full-time while attending college, some personal and family health stuff going on...caring for others while needing a little bit of TLC yourself kinda sucks. I just need to decompress when I get home, so I've been rewatching some beloved TV series and replaying my favourite old games. Buffy, Star Trek, Fallout: New Vegas, and Mass Effect are largely responsible for getting me through this pandemic.

There's also that whole trying-not-to-die thing. I'm not immunocompromised, but the people I live with are, and I have heart and lung issues. And, you know, working in a high-risk profession and commuting via public transit. My driver's license is also under a medical suspension (not that I could afford to park downtown anyway, mind you), but I can't get it reinstated because the test I need has been deferred indefinitely due to the pandemic. 

Oh, and I have to get all my wisdom teeth pulled out at the ripe old age of 29. Don't most people get that done in high school?!

So that was a whole lot of whining, but I'm actually feeling very good about things, for the most part. I have sought help for my longstanding mental health issues - probably about 15 years overdue, but better late than never! I got my hands on some gorgeous new (well, old) lolita pieces, my finances are in great shape, I have thoroughly kicked my "I'm sad so I'm going to buy stuff to fill the void" habit, and I'm doing extremely well in my college courses. Positive vibes all around!

A pile of Kuromi stuff I bought when I was sad to fill the void. Justified, because it was my birthday.

One other bit of good news: apparently the provincial government now considers me to be a frontline healthcare worker (I think our professional association leaned on them a little bit), so I'm in line to get the vaccine soon-ish...? I hope? I think once that's taken care of, my priorities will change from simply avoiding dying to actually having fun with fashion and silly stuff again.

Taking a step back has also given me some time to reflect. I've also been considering leaving my local lolita community as well as the greater online lolita community. This wasn't triggered by any single event, and I don't have any major issues with anyone in particular...I just feel like these spaces have run their course for me, and I'm more comfortable interacting with the people in my close circle. Seeing how some lolitas (and people in general) have been acting out online because they're broke, bored, and jobless under quarantine just makes me want to run far, far away. I simply don't have the time or patience to entertain the absolute circus that is the online lolita community anymore - I'm too employed for this shit, you know?

It's also given me some time to evaluate my closet a little bit. I will always be loyal to Moitié, but I'm also more interested in trying out a few other brands and styles of gothic just to change things up a little bit. I've always really liked military and nurse themes, even outside of lolita, because I am like every other stereotypically edgy goth/industrial kid. I'm really hoping to get a few military Boz pieces, and a few more Boz pieces in general. And to make room for the new stuff, I'll need to purge my closet, so I'll announce when I'm closet cleaning.

 

A few of my purchases from the past few months. I can't wait to coordinate them!

To continue on the topic of self-reflection...I like blogging, since journalling has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. I started a YouTube channel because at the time I had no goth friends, and I wanted to interact with the goth community on YouTube. It was definitely a lot smaller and friendlier back then. I started making lolita fashion videos because there weren't really many other gothic lolitas on YouTube, and I was bored. My channel grew quite a bit more than I expected, which was kind of cool, but quickly became overwhelming. I'm not a particularly good videographer and I tend to just ramble on and on and on, so I'm not exactly sure why people kept watching, but here we are - I'm at almost 20,000 subscribers.

So it turns out that I actually don't really like being in the spotlight very much. I'm not one to take harsh criticism to heart, but even when you generally get a lot of positive feedback, sometimes the nasty comments get to you. But that's not really the thing that bothers me - it's the people who try to dissect your entire life and personality based on how you present yourself in a short video. Seeing people speculating on anything and everything about my personal life was sort of funny at first (according to one comment, I'm 6' tall and a total bitch at meetups) but quickly became profoundly uncomfortable, and it makes me not want to share anything personal or deeper than surface-level.

I'm thinking of ending it for good. I have quite a few videos in the works I'd like to finish, so it won't be soon or anything...but much like the online lolita community, it's run its course for me. It's been a good ride, but I prefer quietly blogging about my adventures instead. It's easier to be low-key, and I like my privacy.

Anyway, it's about time to wrap things up. Thanks for reading, and for sticking around for this long!

[Current Music: Solemn Novena - Missa Solemnis]

Hosting My First Panel with Bay Area Kei! Gothic Lolita Symposium

 

Today I hosted my very first panel alongside Cursed Kaiser and Vudu Juju, and I'm very excited to share it with you all! Our panel is titled Gothic Lolita: A Symposium.

Bay Area Kei is a group that has been hosting online j-fashion events throughout the pandemic in an effort to keep the community connected. It's been a lot of fun tuning in when I can. For Halloween, they hosted a spooky-themed online event called Gramarye. and I were asked to do a panel about gothic lolita fashion, and we came up with the idea of doing a deep dive into the history of the entire gothic substyle. I think that the western lolita community tends to focus a lot on the kawaii, pastel, and sweet side of lolita fashion - gothic is really an afterthought to a lot of people. It was really nice to have this opportunity to share our favourite things about the gothic substyle. It's a lot more complicated than just crosses and black!

You can watch a recording of the stream here. The recording doesn't show the live chat, but we were chatting with the viewers throughout the stream. I think we hit about 150 live viewers at one point, which was pretty awesome (and nerve-wracking)!

Thanks for watching! I'd love to hear your thoughts on our panel in the comments.

[Current Music: False Figure - Morningstar]

So I got interviewed for Vogue's web blog...

 

I've been very, VERY vocal about how I feel about talking to the media. All alternative people, including lolitas, are easy targets for journalists looking for the next freakshow to parade around for their audience of, for lack of a better word, normies. One thing I've noticed over the years is that many lolitas, at least here in North America, aren't involved in any other kind of alternative subculture or fashion. They have no idea what it's like to be a punching bag for the media (example: any kid who wore lots of black and liked Slipknot post-Columbine) and tend to be extremely worried about maintaining a good public image. Goths and punks don't act like this because we already know that there's no point in explaining ourselves or defending ourselves to people who have deliberately chosen to misunderstand us.

Lolitas, especially newbies, are constantly over-explaining themselves ("I wear lolita fashion but it has nothing to do with the book or pedos!!!"), and generally try to be as friendly and approachable as possible in the eyes or normies. I feel like this constant need to explain themselves beyond "I'm a member of a Japanese fashion subculture" and the need for approval/validation from outsiders is just some form of insecurity. And obviously while I don't like seeing lolitas being publicly humiliated or portrayed as sad, damaged women, I'm also not overly concerned with what the general public thinks of us. Or of me, for that matter.

So with that in mind, it might come off as very odd that I agreed to be interviewed for Vogue's web blog...

After I posted a YouTube video about my experiences as an alternative teenager/young adult, a journalist commented and emailed, asking if I'd like to be interviewed. I was super skeptical at first and ignored the email for a while. After a week or two, I decided to respond just to feel things out. The interviewer, Janelle, was very kind and respectful. Honestly, her being a fellow Black woman did a lot to put my mind at ease. We had a good dialogue and I felt comfortable answering her questions because she focused more on my experiences as an alternative Black woman, rather than just on my being a lolita. 

I'm really happy with how the article came out. Please read it and tell me your thoughts!

You can read the article here!

Gothic Lolita Soundtrack: Volume IV

Hello bats! In this edition of Gothic Lolita Soundtrack, we'll be visiting some of my favourite visual kei and symphonic metal bands. I'm still trying to keep the selections limited to slightly less obvious picks, but I'm running out. Maybe I should just make a separate post about the essential visual kei bands for gothic lolitas...

† Madeth Gray'll †

Madeth Gray'll was a short-lived visual kei outfit formed in the late 1990s. Even though they didn't get a chance to release much material, they gained a cult following and still have dedicated fans to this day. They were known for their dark, baroque rock sound. I think they were more influential on other bands than they're given credit for. After a number of lineup changes, some of the former members went on to form Schwardix Marvally, another tragically short-lived visual kei project.

Recommended Songs: Lucifer, Misantroop, Opera Za no Higeki

† Schwardix Marvally †

After Madeth Gray'll split, a few of the remaining members went on to start Schwardix Marvally. Some other notable members include HIZAKI of Versailles fame and Ko~zi of Malice Mizer (and about 1 billion other projects). They have a really classic 90s visual kei sound with baroque instruments and clean soft vocals as well as some touches of power/symphonic metal. You'll like them if you enjoy Lareine and Malice Mizer, as well as power metal bands like Hizaki Grace Project and Versailles.

Recommended Songs: Flowers of Dearly, Requiem, Lucifer (Madeth Gray'll cover)

† Hollow Mellow †

Hollow Mellow's music sounds like it comes straight out of a gothic fairy tale. I honestly don't know what genre I'd call it...baroque rock/pop/metal? If you're a fan of Ali Project, you'll enjoy Hollow Mellow. They're a perfect example of what I would consider "lolita" music - dark, romantic, yet still whimsical and cute. Their music videos perfectly capture that spooky fairy-tale feeling. I was lucky enough to see them perform live at Anime North a few years ago. The lead singer and composer, Iruma Rioka, is a gothic lolita herself, so she knows exactly what we like!


Fun fact, the violinist is the well-known Jill of Rose Noire - she plays in so many different bands, it's unreal!

Recommended Songs: Romantique, The Red Shoes, Eat Me

† Unlucky Morpheus †

Unlucky Morpheus formed as a symphonic power metal Touhou cover band that later went on to produce their own original music. I originally discovered them while looking for Touhou music because...you know, weeb. I really like that their vocalist goes for rock-style vocals instead of operatic-style vocals - I could never get into bands like Nightwish. They're really technically skilled in terms of composition and playing, too. Their songs CADAVER and REDEVAC are mirrors of each other, designed to play one after the other!


Plus, Jill's in this band, too.

Recommended Songs: Black Pentagram, Knight of Sword, Unknown Child (U.N. Owen Was Her Cover)

† AMADEUS †

Amadeus is an underrated 90s visual-kei band that I lovingly refer to as Castlevania-kei. Their vampire aesthetic extends beyond the floor-length velvet coats and eyeliner to their music, too.They have a dramatic neoclassical sound that you will enjoy if you like Versailles or Lacroix Despheres. While they aren't nearly as heavy as either of those bands, but still features baroque instruments and intense guitar solos. Plus, you may recognize the vocalist - it's Seth of Moi dix Mois!

Recommended Songs: Kyouzou no Kami

Thank you for reading, and be sure to check out the rest of the posts in this series!

† Volume I † Volume II † Volume III †

Lolita Blog Carnival: Have A Friend Make A Coord For You

For this week's edition of Lolita Blog Carnival, we were prompted to ask a friend or SO to make a coordinate for us. I recruited my best friend @vudu_juju since she's a gothic lolita and Moitié devotee, just like me! She and I will often gravitate to the same main pieces, and we buy the same things in different colours for twinning purposes, but we'll often coordinate the same items totally differently. She loves to experiment and go OTT with unique accessories and interesting materials...and I generally throw on a comfy OP and call it a day. This goes for our non-lolita wardrobes, too! She looks like an elegant vampire who plays synths in an 80s goth band whereas I just kinda channel sloppy 90s goth. But hey, mallgoth is back in style if Instagram is anything to go by.

I really like the coordinate she came up with for me! I wouldn't have thought to use white as an accent colour, but there's actually a bit of white in the print, so I think it goes together quite nicely. I also don't get many opportunities to wear this corset, so I'm happy that she chose it. It's actually a jacquard fabric so it looks really beautiful in person.

I've also been interested in trying longer cuts recently. I still prefer short cuts just for the cuteness factor, but long cuts look so elegant and mature. Granted, since I'm rectangle-shaped and not very tall, I think they make me a little stumpy, but whatever. I also think that going without a petticoat looks much better with a long dress than with a short one.

Skirt: Enchantlic Enchantilly

Blouse: Alice and the Pirates

Corset: Alice and the Pirates

OTKs: Atelier17, Moi-même-Moitié

Headdress: Metamorphose

Shoes: Metamorphose

Accessories: Moi-même-Moitié

Thank you so much for reading! Be sure to check out the other LBC bloggers discussing today's topic. 

Cupcakes and Unicorns | Gota de Baunilha | The Bloody Tea Party

[Current Music: BUCK-TICK - Die]

Ideas for Online Lolita Meetups & Activities

I've been laid off for nearly 2 months, and I've left my immediate neighbourhood maybe...5 times, at most? It's been hard not being able to see my friends or go out, but I'm managing. Video/voice chatting while painting or crafting, or just to shoot the breeze, has been a godsend. I'm also very thankful that my lolita community has been actively hosting meetups and activities so that we don't all die of boredom. Here's a list of things I've been doing with my comm and my lolita friends - maybe you'll get some ideas!

Host a watch party. I We also watched a bunch of terrible low-budget "documentaries" about lolita and roasted them. My comm held watch parties and streamed lolita-approved movies like Emma, Kamikaze Girls, and Bara no Konrei. In some ways it's more fun that going to a theatre since you can't talk in the theatre, but during a watch party you can chat all you want! It was tons of fun discussing and riffing on the movies, especially Bara no Konrei.

Bara no Konrei doesn't make a whole lot of sense, but it's aesthetically pleasing.

Watch2gether has been great for this since you don't need to sign up for an account or anything - just plug videos into the playlist and send people the link to your chatroom. You can also use platforms like Kast, Discord, and Twitch.

Attend a virtual visual kei concert. In the same vein, I recently hosted a Malice Mizer live concert watch party with my friends where we all wore Moitié and watched the concerts in chronological order. I have a few Malice Mizer DVDs kicking around. Youtuber Cantavanda has uploaded a ton of Malice Mizer concerts and music videos in HD so you can view them if you don't have the DVDs. If Malice Mizer isn't your bag, Youtube has lots of full lives uploaded for bands like Versailles, Hollow Mellow, and Lareine. if your group of friends is anything like mine, you'll have a fun evening of nostalgia and fangirl tears.

Now you can go to the concerts you couldn't go to when you were 14!

Take a virtual tour. Many museums and tourist attractions have online tours or walkthrough videos available - there's a great listing here. I'm partial to this tour of the Louvre and this tour of St. Vitus Cathedral. I also found an unusual but interesting tour of the Tim Burton exhibit at the Neon Museum in Las Vegas! Ghibli Museum's Youtube channel is uploading tours on a weekly basis. It's no replacement for travelling, but at least there's no crowds or crying babies. Plus, the tour guides can get up close and personal with the artwork without being swatted away by a security guard.

The Vatican even has a 3D reproduction of the Sistine Chapel. Admittedly, this one isn't that exciting, but I thought it was sort of cool.

Take an online class. It's always more fun to study together, so why not take an online class in a light subject? It's important to keep your mind active, and lots of websites are offering free trials or even entirely free courses that are entirely self-paced. Many public libraries offer free subscriptions to many of these websites.

The Museum of Modern Art offers this course on fashion as design via Coursera.EdX is also another good resource, and even offers instruction in languages other than English. Want to fulfill your weeb aspirations of learning Japanese, but you only speak Chinese? Say no more. Or you can learn French so that you can finally figure out how to pronounce Metamorphose Temps de Fille correctly. That's right, I'm calling you out.

It's ok, people were confused in 2004 too.

I hope that some of these ideas were helpful! What have you and your comm been doing to stay connected?

[Current Music: My Bloody Valentine - Only Shallow]

Lolita Blog Carnival: Pros & Cons of Keeping To One Style Vs. Multiple Styles

Wow, I haven't done a Lolita Blog Carnival post in absolute ages! Today's theme is discussing the pros and cons of sticking with one style. This is definitely something I think about pretty often since I only wear gothic lolita but I love all 3 of the major substyles and would really like to try them all someday. So let's start off with some of the pros of wearing just one style!

Building multiple wardrobes is expensive. It might be easier to build a wardrobe of gothic and classic, or sweet and classic, since those styles cross over easily and allow you to share items between your two wardrobes as long as you stick with certain colours and themes. But if you want to wear both, say, OTT pastel sweet and Moitié-style gothic, you're going to have to buy two entirely separate wardrobes. Goodbye, money. And where are you going to put it all?

I've wanted to try other styles, but I prefer wearing gothic, and that's what I want to save my money for. Old Moitié ain't cheap! Even a super basic starter sweet wardrobe can be expensive since literally none of my pieces would work for OTT pastel sweet, and because I'm not really into the type of sweet that the less-expensive Chinese brands put out. Even old stuff like Sugary Carnival and Milky Planet aren't that cheap. I think I'd just end up buying an OP set so that I could easily try it all at once and resell it if needed.

Good thing my comm has style swap meetups!

I wish Moitié would release full matching sets like this for beginners. It's hard to find perfectly matched items.

Your wardrobe can look cohesive without much effort. I think it's important to build your wardrobe as a functioning wardrobe and not as a collection of distinct coordinates where individual parts can't be swapped out to make new coordinates. It's better to be flexible so that you get more mileage out of every piece - otherwise, what's the point of spending hundreds of dollars on a dress you can only style in one way? In order to do that, you need to make sure all of your pieces go together.

If you only wear one substyle, you don't need to make a concerted effort to make sure that all your pieces work together so that you can get multiple coordinates out of your collection of dresses and accessories. It's even easier if you stick to one or two colours. if you've seen my old wardrobe post, you'll notice that I only wear black, white, and blue gothic-themed items (I've recently started adding red, too!) and that's made it very easy to add new stuff to my wardrobe without worrying about having to buy new things to match it. I already know it'll work with what I have!

You can devote your energy to completely mastering one substyle, and you can be creative without changing your substyle. You're limited in that you can only use items from your chosen style, which forces you to be creative with what you have. Techniques that work well in one substyle might not work for another, so if you're trying to learn and be experimental, I think it's much easier to start with just one! For example, layering of corsets and underskirts in different textures or fabrics looks much better in gothic or in classic than in sweet, in my opinion.

I've been trying to cut back on purchasing lolita pieces (and all purchases in general) and am instead trying to reuse my existing wardrobe in different ways - layering, different colour combinations, etc. It's been a lot of fun! I can still branch out without having to try a whole new substyle, since the gothic brands are all so different and can be combined in different ways. I'm not exactly a master of coordinating, but I'll get there!

Atelier Pierrot staff are so good at coordinating items that I wouldn't even think to put together! Image from from Atelier Pierrot Shinjuku's blog.

Of course, it's not all sunshine and roses. There are a few cons, too.

It's harder to dress up for themed meetups. This is a bigger dilemma for some people than you think! As a gothic lolita, sometimes it can be really hard for me to follow the themes for some of my lolita comm's meetups. I'm in a big comm (100+ members), but I'd estimate the split is about 75% sweet, 20% classic, and 5% gothic. Realistically, the only themed meetups that work for my wardrobe are going to be at Halloween and Christmas.

As an example, my comm was supposed to have a fruit-themed picnic meetup...before the pandemic struck, anyway. Lots of sweet dresses have fruit themes, and some can be coordinated in a way to make them look more classic. It's much harder if you only wear gothic, though. I could sort of fudge it by wearing fruit accessories (Suppurate System's apple necklaces come to mind) but I can probably count the number of fruit-themed gothic prints on one hand.

I can see Alice and the Pirates being able to pull off a Persephone-themed print with roses and pomegranates, or a Garden of Eden print with snakes and apples. I dunno, I just really want some gothy fruit prints.

Black Cat, Witch, and the Apple Tree is such a cute print! I'm hoping to find the red JSK soon.

Brand tea parties and events can also be tricky. Most of my favourite gothic brands are unlikely to be invited to Toronto as guests since there wouldn't be much interest. We've hosted the big sweet and classic brands like Angelic Pretty, Victorian Maiden, Juliette et Justine, and Baby, the Stars Shine Bright, but never an exclusively gothic brand. Now that I've been wearing lolita for several years, I have enough goth-friendly pieces from those brands that I could probably manage. I have one  but prior to that I wouldn't have been able to attend any events with wardrobe requirements without borrowing an outfit. And borrowing outfits for a tea party makes me nervous. What if I drop my jam?!

Angelic Pretty, but make it goth.

Still, I'd love it if Sheglit, h.naoto, Atelier Pierrot (I went to their tea party in Gatineau!), or of course Moi-même-Moitié were able to attend an event in Toronto. Granted, if they did, my comm would be scrambling to find brand items for the party. And since these brands don't appeal to the vast majority of my comm t wouldn't be fair to the brand guests since they wouldn't make much money selling their merchandise. It wouldn't be fair to the attendees either, since they probably wouldn't be that excited to see the brands.

And that brings me to the end of this little discussion! The question was actually a little harder than I thought, which is why this blog entry is so short. When I think about it, in my opinion it's actually better to branch out and wear multiple styles - the only truly prohibitive aspect is cost and storage, whereas the other problems can be overcome with some ingenuity.

Thank you for reading, and please check out what everyone else in the Lolita Blog Carnival had to say!

Lolita Blog Carnival

The Bloody Tea Party | Cupcakes and Unicorns | Alice in Lolitaland
Bibelot Rose | In Love With A Dream

[Current Music: Aphex Twin - Come to Daddy]

My Favourite Gothic Lolita Fragrances

Whenever I wear lolita, even casually, I like to put on makeup and perfume that suits my coordinate. It's an important part of my daily ritual. I also just like things that smell pretty because they make me feel like less of a goblin. I find that my tastes in perfume have changed a lot over the years, from uber-girly candy scents (think anything from Victoria's Secret) to darker and more mature scents. I put together a list of scents that I really like to wear when wearing lolita.

Gothic lolita is such a broad substyle that it would be easy to pick a thousand different perfumes that suit the fashion. Gothic lolita is dark but sweet at the same time, so I think that slightly sweet floral or fruity scents with a hint of darkness embody the fashion perfectly.

So, some notes about my taste. I usually like rather gothic perfumes, especially with a dark and fruity flavour. Patchouli, incense, smoke, wood, and rose are common notes in gothic perfumes - fruits are less common, but you may find berry notes as well. Basically, anything that invokes images of an old church, graveyards, vampires, a garden of thorny roses, dusty books...you get the picture. If that doesn't sound appealing to you, then you probably won't like my picks very much. This topic has been covered in the Gothic Lolita Bible a few times and in the EGL Livejournal community, so I'd recommend checking those out instead.

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Smelly Yeti Perfumery † Queen of the Damned
"Drusilla, Spike’s sometimes-paramour, wanderer of graveyards, makes for an enchanting and unconventional floral scent. Among the more traditional bouquet of roses is a mélange of darker, cooler notes of cabbage, cedarwood, tuberose moss, dewy grass, and damp earth. The overall effect is one of flowers in a graveyard. Feminine."

The first perfume on this list is from Smelly Yeti Perfumery, a tiny perfume oil shop that appears to be on temporary hiatus. They've released many collections based on pop culture, from TV shows to comic books to anime series. I love Buffy the Vampire Slayer, so I bought a bunch of scents from the Buffy collection. Queen of the Damned is based on Drusilla, a deranged clairvoyant vampire with a ridiculous accent. I love her.

One of my favourite Drusilla costumes. This looks like an I Do Declare dress!

This perfume is truly unique. It gives me the impression of a funeral in a rainy rose garden. You can actually smell the wet earth and grass underlying the rose scent on top. It's not just a plain rose, either - it's smokey and incense-y. It's a gorgeous scent, perfect for an elegant witch or vampire aristocrat. It's only available in an oil form, so be mindful of this if you don't want to get any on your sleeves. It would be a good candidate for a perfume oil locket.

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Chanel † Gabrielle
"It is a pure floral composed around four flowers: exotic and intense jasmine, radiant and fruity ylang-ylang, fresh and sparkling orange blossom, and creamy, highly feminine Grasse tuberose."

I'm not a fan of most Chanel fragrances. I recognize that they're objectively nice fragrances (they're enduring classics for a reason, after all) but they just don't really suit me or my style. That being said, I love flowers, and you can't go wrong with a pure floral like this one. It's soft, delicate, and girly without being sugary-sweet or overpowering. I feel like the slight citrus and wood notes help tone it down a bit. It's also not overly powdery - some people find powdery floral scents a bit too "mature" (I hate when people call perfumes old-ladyish!) but this one is fresh and sweet enough to give off more of a cute vibe. it's the perfect springtime scent, perfect for a walk in the park or a picnic on a sunny afternoon.

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Smelly Yeti Perfumery † Ouran
"Roses. Bulgarian roses. English roses. Rosehip jasmine, pikake flower, and yuzu. Basically, FLOWERS. Plus, a hint of the tropical flavor that signifies the mark of a true silly anime - the token beach episode. The perfect way to be noticed by senpai- or rather, for senpai to be noticed. Feminine!"

I cracked up as soon as I saw the name of this perfume. A running gag in the anime series Ouran Highschool Host Club was a character saying something ridiculously dramatic while surrounded by rose petals, poking fun at that old shoujo anime cliche. It's a very fitting name because it's just over-the-top roses and flowers with the sliiiightest hint of yuzu and fruit. It's also slightly fresh and powdery, which prevents it from smelling too sweet. Don't let the goofy description fool you - it's actually a rather sophisticated and elegant scent. It's definitely one of the prettiest and girliest scents in my collection so I like to wear it when I'm wearing something extravagant, like my Atelier Pierrot bustle dress. I feel like someone like Arika Takarano would enjoy this perfume!

Arika Takarano of ALI PROJECT.

Yves St. Laurent † Nuit de l'Homme
"Bright, masculine freshness combines with sophistication and nonchalance to create a fresh, yet deep and mysterious scent with notes of cardamom, cedar, and coumarin—a structure of contrasting forces."

Even though this is marketed as a masculine scent, I feel that it works well as a unisex scent as it is quite a bit sweeter than most men's fragances. I bought a bottle for my boyfriend on a whim, and it smells great on him, but I ended up liking it for myself as well. This is a go-to perfume for me when I'm wearing EGA since it's very much like how I imagine a beautiful vampire would smell. It's a little bit like the scent of Djarum Black clove cigarettes, but less tobacco-y and more warm and spicy. Overall, it's a mature and elegant scent with just a little bit of sweetness, and it's perfect if you want a scent that's lightly sweet without being overly girly.

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Bath and Body Works † Dark Kiss Eau de Parfum

"Dark Kiss is a daring and seductive scent of berries, flowers and tempting night musk. It is a modern tale of forbidden love that will loose your hidden fantasies and primal passions.
Top notes: bergamot, incense, Mirabelle plum and blackberry. Heart: amber, Burgundy rose, geranium and peony. Base: dark vanilla, labdanum, vetiver, balsams and musks."

This is one of my favourite everyday scents, and it's super affordable! It's a "retired" scent, meaning that it's available for purchase online but is only available in physical stores at certain times of year. It starts off as a very dark berry scent with a bit of incense that tapers off to a softer floral scent with a hint of vanilla. Even though it's fruity, it's not too "young" or candy-like like many fruit scents can be. Despite the edgy name and marketing, I don't find it particularly sexy or primal at all...it's just dark, sweet, and feminine. In other words, perfect for a gothic lolita!

I miss Bath and Body Works' old packaging style...the label was way cuter.

Yves Saint Laurent † Black Opium Floral Shock
"The iconic coffee and vanilla accord is now combined with new floral notes of gardenia and orange blossom that add the instant cool feeling of a sea breeze—it’s Black Opium on ice."

Black Opium Floral Shock is my favourite everyday perfume. I like gourmand perfumes (who wouldn't want to smell like a yummy bakery?) but I find that a lot of them can be overwhelmingly sweet and cloying, and it just brings back memories of the cheap cinnamon bun body spray I used in high school.  For me, this perfume has just the right amount of sweetness without being overpowering. The scent is a mixture of sweet coffee and white flowers, with a slight citrus fruity note...actually, it smells kind of like a Tim Horton's Iced Capp, but better. I don't really get any of the "sea breeze" notes from the description, though. When I hear sea breeze I think of bright and fresh beachy scents, not floral vanilla coffee - and I wouldn't recommend a sea breeze scent for a gothic girl anyway!

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Tom Ford † Noir de Noir
"Rich feminine florals and the masculine earthiness of black truffle, vanilla, patchouli, oud wood, and tree moss add a warm sensuality to this dark chypre oriental."

The last scent I wanted to discuss is a bit of an odd one in my collection. It's another unisex scent marketed towards men, but with a slightly feminine feel. It's an earthy, smoky, woody rose scent with a hint of vanilla and dark chocolate. Those things don't sound like they'd go together at all, right? But somehow it all works. I would describe it as a dark and romantic scent, perfect for a gothic aristocrat or a vampire princess!

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I hope you guys enjoyed my recommendations! Please let me know what if you think if you decide to go out and try them. Do you have a favourite perfume to wear when wearing lolita?

[Current Music: The Mission - Severina]